Sticky Fingers!

Once upon a time my mother and her best friend Betty-Sue (you can tell we live in the south can't you?) were going to the store. Both families had gathered over that Bob and Betty's house for day and a run to the store was in order. Earlier that day my dad was doing a little repair work on the turn signal in his car. His instructions to mom before she drove his car to the store, "Shirley, don't touch the turn signal, I put super glue on it" He continued to reiterate the importance of not touching the turn signal for emphasis!

My mother's slightly annoyed response, "Paul! Don't talk to me like I'm a child! I'm not stupid"

....moments later while driving down the road my mom was about to make a turn and the first thing she did was...use the turn signal. Quickly realizing her error, she says, "OH SHOOT! Paul told me not to touch the turn signal!" She then grips the steering wheel tightly hoping to deter any further instinctive attempts to use the turn signal.

TOO LATE! The damage has been done...

Not long after my mom began using the death grip on the steering wheel she needed to make another turn, it was then she discovered she could not make the turn....because she had successfully superglued herself to the steering wheel!

As you probably imagine, this made the time of the trip double in size because my mom had to work her way back to the house by only using right turns. Betty-sue never laughed, she sat there calm as my mom was in a panic worrying how on earth she would ever free herself from the steering wheel.

Finally, the return back to Bob and Betty's house. Betty-Sue walks in, and my dad questions her, "where the hell have you guys been? thought you were just running to the store? and where the hell's my wife?"

Betty-Sue dropped to the floor, in hysterics! Laughing so hard she could't even speak, she could only point in the direction of the car. My dad walks outside to see my poor mother, looking ever so pitiful, still attached to the steering wheel!

A butcher knife, a slight loss of skin, and a whole lot of laughter later...my mom is finally freed!

Thanks to Betty-Sue, who happened to be working for the local paper at the time, this story, made the news!

"Paul don't talk to me like a child! I'm not stupid!" :)

random mom fact #122

She at one time thought that ringworm was an ACTUAL WORM inside the skin, so when she noticed that she had ringworm one time, she cut it out with a knife! OUCH!